As we build new family traditions with Stitch, especially as the holiday season has begun, Lloyd and I want to make sure that Patrick is included as often as possible. We want Stitch to know about her big brother. We want to say his name and hear others say his name. Halloween can be challenging for many loss families, because it is so child-focused. Social media is filled with photos of cute kiddos in their costumes. We can’t help but imagine what our child who died would be this year for Halloween as we see children his age in their costumes. So, Halloween presented a great opportunity to celebrate both of our children.


On October 15th, which was also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, we headed to the pumpkin patch with Papa and Auntie Ida. We had such a fun day. We chose five pumpkins for the five members of our family (had to include our puppy Didi too!). Stitch helped choose a white pumpkin for Patrick.


The next weekend, Daddy and Stitch decorated our pumpkins to look like the pumpkins in her favorite book, Five Little Pumpkins.


The pumpkins sit on a landing in our entry way stairs, and we all love looking at them as we walk by.

For each of our children, within a few days of their birth we started to associate an animal with them. Patrick’s animal is a giraffe, and Stitch’s animal is an elephant. So, when I found the perfect elephant costume, we knew she had to be an elephant this year. We took a few pictures with one of Patrick’s giraffes before we headed out to go trick or treating.


It fills my heart to have these photos, these moments, that represent both of my amazing children.